Finding You Way Back using the G.A.M.E. Framework

When your world breaks, it feels like getting blindsided. You feel the impact in your body before your mind can even accept it—a sudden struggle for air. One second, you’re whole, standing on what you believed was solid ground. The next, the phone rings and you take a shot to the gut so vicious it feels like a hot poker being driven straight through your heart. In that instant, life as you know it has changed forever.

Tragedy is a place you never want to end up. If you’re reading this, you probably know what I’m talking about. You’ve had the rug pulled out from under you. You’ve woken up wishing it was all a bad dream, maybe even prayed you wouldn’t have to wake up at all.

I know this place because I’ve lived there. The day I lost my son, my world just stopped. Nothing felt right anymore. Things that used to bring me joy just felt hollow. The future I’d always imagined was just… gone. All I could think was, ‘What am I supposed to do now?’

That rock bottom place wasn’t where I found a quick answer. It was the start of a journey that took decades. I was just trying to figure out how to put one foot in front of the other, how to be around people again and maybe even learn to laugh someday. And life wasn’t done with me; other tragedies and tough times piled on top of losing my son. The G.A.M.E. framework didn’t come out of a book. It was built piece by piece, over a lifetime of dealing with life’s curveballs. It’s a set of practical tools I had to figure out for myself, just to survive. G.A.M.E. is an acronym for Gratitude, Affirmations, Mindfulness, and Environment. It’s not a magic pill that makes the pain go away—nothing can do that. But it’s a game plan, a way to find your bearings when you’re lost and trying to figure out how to move forward.

G is for Gratitude: The Anchor in the Storm

When you’re at rock bottom, the last thing you want to hear is “be grateful.” It feels like a slap in the face. Grateful for what? For the pain? For the hole in your life? It’s insulting. But the gratitude I’m talking about isn’t some happy-go-lucky feeling you have to fake. It’s a tool. It’s a way to take back a little bit of ground from the pain.

Your mind, when you’re grieving, gets stuck in a loop. It replays the bad news, the hurt, the anger, over and over. Gratitude is how you break that loop, even if it’s just for a few seconds. Just weeks after I lost my son, I had to look for things to be grateful for, no matter how small or microscopic they were. I found it in nature a lot. I’d go sit by a river and just listen to the sound of the water or the wind going through the trees. I’d look at my other children and feel a deep gratitude that they were still here with me. No matter how hard it was, I found that if I looked, I could always find something.

A Simple Practice:

Get a small notebook and put it by your bed. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Sometime during the day, or right before you go to sleep, just write down one thing. One thing that wasn’t awful. Maybe it’s “the sandwich I ate for lunch,” or “the dog wagged his tail at me.” Don’t overthink it. Just find one thing. That’s it. That’s the start.

A is for Affirmations: Rewriting the Script of Sorrow

Tragedy has a voice that’s constantly reminding you that you’re broken. But you have a voice, too. This is where we get into something really powerful. Words have power. They have intention and meaning. What comes out of your mouth sets the stage for your mood and your entire day.

Think about it. We speak a lot of garbage to ourselves and about other people. We use words to tear ourselves down. Listen to how often you say “I am…” and then fill in the blank with something negative. “I’m so tired.” “I’m no good at that.” “I’m sick.” We can literally speak sickness, depression, and failure into our own lives. With our words, we are either speaking creation or destruction.

Affirmations are how you can be deliberate in choosing creation. It’s about using the power of the spoken word to your advantage—to speak life and happiness into your world. For me, the voice in my head wasn’t just telling me I was a failure; it was telling me it was my fault. I played the “what-if” game relentlessly, blaming myself. That’s speaking destruction. My prayers weren’t pretty—they were loud and angry, but they were honest. And I believe God heard them. I believe He spoke back, and I started to learn that I could use my own voice to take back the ground I had lost. I began to speak strength into my life: “I am a man of strength. I have wisdom. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I was using the power God gave me to speak a new truth into existence.

A Simple Practice:

This is about being intentional. Start by listening to the words that come out of your mouth for a day. Notice how often you use them to tear yourself or someone else down.

Then, create your affirmation. It must be in the present tense. Not “I will be,” but “I am.” Speak it as if it’s already a fact, because you are speaking it into existence. Here are a few examples: “I have all the strength I need to get through this.” “I can do this.” “I am a loving person and others love me.” Say it out loud. Then, walk it out. Act as though it’s already true. It takes practice, but it is an absolute force.

M is for Mindfulness: Finding a Foothold in the Present

In its simplest terms, mindfulness is about awareness. It’s about being aware of the present moment—aware of yourself and your surroundings. I had to learn that I can’t change the past; that’s where regret and shame live. And I can’t control the future; that’s where worry and anxiety live. The only place I have any real power is right here, right now.

A huge part of my mindfulness practice was learning to control what I let into my head. I had to get off social media. I stopped watching the news. I realized that so much of it is just fear and garbage designed to keep you worried about things you can’t do anything about. I made a commitment to only focus on things I can actually influence. The rest of it doesn’t need my attention. Believe it or not, some of my greatest teachers on this subject have been my dogs. My boxers don’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow. They don’t hold grudges. They’re just present. I’ve learned a lot from them.

When you can just be aware of your words, your thoughts, and where your focus is, you can keep it in the present. Try it for 30 minutes. Just say to yourself, “For the next half hour, I’m not going to worry about the past or stress about the future. I’m just going to be right here.” It’s in that present moment where you’ll find that you are healing, you are growing, and that life is good.

A Simple Grounding Practice:

This isn’t about following a bunch of rules. It’s about finding a way to get centered. Here’s a simple way to start.

First, just become aware. Stop what you’re doing and get into the moment. Notice your senses—what you see, what you hear, the temperature of the air on your skin. Stop worrying about the past or the future.

Next, get comfortable. Find a quiet, safe place. I don’t care if you’re standing up, sitting down, or lying on the floor. It doesn’t matter. Just get comfortable. You can close your eyes or keep them open; I do both. The point is to focus on your breath. I close my eyes because it helps me feel the coolness of the air going into my body. At that moment, that’s the only thing I’m thinking about.

Don’t overthink it. This isn’t a time to make things happen; it’s the opposite. There are no rules here. It’s just you, in the present moment, focusing on your breath and clearing your mind. If your mind wanders—and it will, it happens to all of us—just gently bring your focus back to your breath. You might have to do it 20 times. It doesn’t matter. The fact that you are doing it is what’s important.

E is for Environment: Your Sacred Space for Healing

This pillar is so important. Your senses are constantly interpreting your environment. Think about when you walk into a meeting or a social event; you instantly get a feeling, a vibe about the room. Your senses are reading the environment and reporting back to you. It’s the same when you listen to a powerful speaker and their words just click, or when you hear a song that moves you. It’s what you see, hear, and feel. Being aware of these things is critical.

You are impacted by the environment around you, whether you like it or not. If you’re around negative people who are always complaining, you become a dumpster for their emotional garbage and their negative opinions. That’s something to be aware of. I learned that I have to be aware of my environment and remove myself from negative surroundings and people. I’m not naive, I know you can’t always avoid it. But the point is to be aware and get away from it as soon as you can.

Then there’s what you let into your eyes and ears. Every time you look at your phone or computer, watch a movie, or listen to a song, your subconscious is recording everything. It doesn’t miss a beat. If you’re filling it with garbage, that’s what you’ll get back. This is why nature is so powerful. It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor; the sky is the same beautiful sky, the birds sing the same song. Nature doesn’t have a different script when you show up. If you want to find peace, chances are you’ll find it somewhere in nature. And if you can’t get there, use technology to your advantage. My wife and I will leave nature scenes on the TV all day for us and the dogs to enjoy. It works.

You have to set yourself up for a healthy, positive life, and that starts with your environment. You can’t be mindful in the middle of chaos. Be deliberate. Remove yourself from the chaos and place yourself in an environment that is peaceful and productive.

The Path Forward

Let me be straight with you—this journey isn’t a neat, straight line. There will be days when this whole G.A.M.E. thing feels impossible. But the grit to keep going doesn’t come from blind faith. For me, it came from seeing the small changes. When I started doing this work, I got little wins. I noticed I didn’t react the same way to a stressful situation. I felt a little different. I was gaining back ground. And I thought, “Wow, this stuff really works.”

My faith in the process grew with every small victory. Now, after all these years, it’s a deep conviction. I know this framework works because I’ve lived it. Life still throws unpleasant things at you, but I know where my source of strength is. I learned how to silence the noise and believe in a better today, because if you have a good today, tomorrow takes care of itself.

There are a lot of experts on these topics, but I only know what works for me. And because I know it works, I’m convinced it can work for you, too. I know that if someone is struggling, I can walk them through this framework, and in 30 minutes, they will experience a change. I have no doubt. If what I’m saying makes sense to you, I invite you to connect with me at StevensGame.com. You don’t have to walk this road by yourself. You’ve already survived the worst of it. Now, let’s figure out how to live again, together.